Don't you speak German at home?

NO!!!!!!

How many times have I been asked that question recently. Yes, we are all learning German (and not fast enough probably for some) as it is the language of the country we live in. Yes, we need to speak german for day-to-day purposes. Yes, we still need help from colleagues and friends to sort out some complicated (mostly administrative) things.


BUT there is no way I am dropping French (which I currently speak with my daughter and which is my native language). And I can't imagine my husband and I speaking german together. We tried switching to French once and it was less than successful (but maybe that is another post - note to self).

 People are keen to know why we don't speak the majority language at home. We even have comments from well-meaning acquaintances. These questions are all genuine. But some people do not understand why we don't speak German to help our learning. Someone said to me: "that is why women who stay at home all day never learn German. They don't speak it with their kids at home and only speak a minority language." I can see their point. Those 'women' are stay-at-home mums. They often do not aspire to work. They live within their linguistic community ignoring the wider one. But their children are often very capable bilinguals. This is a very sensitive political topic, of course.

 Multilingualism is part of our strength as a family. What would my daughter think if I suddenly switched? She already says "NO Maman" when I play and say a word in German. Research shows that switching language permanently or stopping one language is rarely a solution to learning another, often quite the opposite.

 Maybe we could do things to reinforce our german as a family. But I am not changing what I speak to my daughter under any circumstances. Would you ask a monolingual family to suddenly start speaking another language as a family when they move abroad? It seems possible but unlikely that the former family language would be completely abandoned.